I started seeing blood a year later, I mentioned it to my doctor, who suggested I had bleeding hemorrhoid.
I began to have trouble passing bowel movements. I mentioned it to my doctor, who suggested I take fiber supplements.
Finally, I had had enough of the excuses. I wanted to find out what was causing my issues. I saw a different doctor. I asked them to review my file first, I told them that if they are going to tell me to eat more fiber or offer up anotehr excuse, then let me know in advance, because at this point I am only interested in getting a colonoscopy scheduled. The doctor got my message.
She was very short with me but said yes she would schedule a colonoscopy. She hemmed and hawed about how to bill it for insurance purposes. I said I don't care, that's her issue, not mine.
on February 9, 2017, I had my colonoscopy. After I started to come to, in recovery, they asked me if I wanted Bronwen to come back. Yes, I said. then, I could hear them behind the curtain saying she can't come back yet, the Doctor needs to speak to me. I knew there was something wrong, but then again I already knew there was something wrong. I just didn't know what.
They moved me to a different space in the recovery area. A small space with a few chairs and a table, next to the Nurses station. The doctor came in and showed me the pictures of the massive tumor in my colon. She explained that there was no biopsy results yet, but in her opinion it was cancer. She said I need to do a Catascan, now.
She said that due to its location they should be able to remove it and I won't need a colostomy bag. Then she left and Bronwen came in. I told Bronwen and we sat in silence for a bit. Bronwen later reported that many Nurses were watching us in the window. Weird. I guess they thought we were going to break down. Off to get a Catscan.
I anxiously awaited the Biopsy results. The next morning, they were in the portal along with a message from the GI doctor. She said basically that the tests confirm cancer, I should expect a call from an Oncologist and Surgeon shortly. Good luck.
I read the catscan results and saw things I didn't understand, yet seemed concerning. My spleen was enlarged. I had my spleen repaired in 1979 after a fall. It is a very unusual procedure, even by today's standard. Was my spleen ok?
Then I saw that they found something on my liver. I googled Liver cancer and didn't like what I saw. I freaked out. I didn't say anything to B but I emailed work, told them I was diagnosed with Cancer and was going to be out indefinitely. I needed time to process and get my affairs in order. I went to the office before anyone was there and cleaned out my desk and grabbed my computers. I was not sure I would ever return.
I came home and started going over my accounts to see what I have. I called a lawyer and set up an appointment for that afternoon.
I picked up B from work and I told her about the lawyer appointment. I decided to bring her which turns out was not correct since we were not married yet. The lawyer was great though, he went over al the different options we have. My biggest concern was making sure B was ok.
I talked to my mother about all of what was happening. I explained that no matter what happens, I want her to make sure B is ok. I made her promise me that. I can't worry about me until I know my family is taken care of. Since B and I are not married, and I have no will, she wouldn't get anything if I was to pass away.
A few days went by with no contact from anyone.
Finally they called me and said they wanted to do a PET scan, and after that, I would meet with the Oncologist and the Surgeons. A liver surgeon and a Colon surgeon.
I completed the PET scan and then waited for my doctor appointments. I saw the Liver surgeon first. He explained what was found on my Catscan. He said it was a very very small thing they spotted and there is no way to tell if it is cancer yet . He wanted me to do an Endoscopy, and from my stomach they can biopsy the liver, because of where the liver spot is, they can get to it from my stomach.
The doctor explained that even if it did spread to my liver, it is completely treatable. He said that when colon cancer spreads to the liver, they have great success with removing it. He said that it was so small that they may not use surgery on it, they may try Chemo first. Due to the place in my liver, they would have to remove a big chunk of it. The first good news I have heard, came with a caveat that I could lose a lot of my liver.
I met with the Oncologist next. He was full of confidence. He felt my cancer was completely treatable. I slowly began to realize this might not be the death sentence I first thought.
Next I met with the Colon Surgeon. He explained the Endoscopy procedure more and by now, had the results of the PET scan. Inconclusive.
I had my Endoscopy a few days later. That was my least favorite test. They have to knock you out all the way , and they use a breathing tube. My throat and chest hurt for nearly a week after it.
The Colon surgeon called a couple days later. he informed me that the liver biopsy came back negative My liver was ok! Huge relief!
Finally the day of my surgery came. I was nervous, but also ready to end this, ready to get better.
My surgery was the last one of the day, on a Friday no less. I hoped the team wasn't focused on their weekend plans!
I went in by myself. Bronwen was to come up to the hospital after work. I assumed I'd be out of surgery by the time she got off work. I was wrong. My surgery started late, around 1:30 they rolled me in to the room. I asked how long it would take and they estimated 3 hours.
When I came to in recovery, I saw that it was late. I was in there for 5 hours ! that concerned me. They were ready to move me to my room. I had great discomfort. I felt I needed to go to the bathroom. I was having cramps and pain.
When we got to my room, there was B. It was late. I knew she had to be barely holding up. But more importantly I had to go to the bathroom. I demanded to go when we got to my room. They let me walk to the bathroom. I tried, but nothing happened. I went to my bed. Bronwen said she talked to the doctor after surgery and he said it went well. I chatted with B for a bit, but I was in pain and it was late. I asked her to go home. Come back tomorrow and bring my book!
The nurse told me the doctor did not order any pain killers beyond Tylenol. She gave me a song and dance about how I can go home sooner if I don't take narcotics. I begged to disagree. Literally. I was in pain. I was writhing in pain. She paged the doctor several times before finally around 1 am the doctor signed off on pain meds. I took two Oxycontin and she pushed some pain med into my IV. finally, I could sleep.
I woke up the next morning, early of course. I felt better. I was ready to eat. I was on the clear liquid diet so I ordered some juice, broth, Green tea and some hard candy. By the time I drank my tea, the Surgeon came in. He said I could eat whatever I wanted. He took me off the liquid diet. I ordered a Cheese omelet, potatoes and a vegan patty.
After breakfast I was relaxing, looking at the view of Lake Union. The nurse came in and said that my Mother in Law called and wanted to know my status. I said I don't have a Mother in Law. She suggested it was Bronwen's mom. No, she doesn't even know I am in the hospital. She asked if I can just take the call, Sure. It was Lou and Larry! We had a nice chat.
Bronwen showed up later that AM and she found me walking down the hall! Quite a different scene than the night before when she left. We ran into my surgeon outside my door and chatted briefly.
B forgot my book. She left after a few hours, promised to return that night. I kept busy by walking up and down the hall every few hours .I was able to go to the bathroom a few times. Pat and Kyle came to visit. B came back with my book and a seafood sensations sandwich from Uwajimaya! We had a nice chat with Kyle and Pat. I stayed up till 10 pm reading my book.
The next morning, the surgeon came, removed my pain pump that was stuck to my side ,and said I could go home today. I asked him how my spleen looked. He was amazed that my spleen was repaired so long ago when still today the standard procedure is to remove it. He said it looked great. Less than 48 hrs after my surgery, I went home. We stopped at the drive through pharmacy to get my pain prescription.
Every day I was improving until I picked up a nasty head cold. Coughing and sneezing set me back a few days. It really hurt to cough. I finally got over my cold and started improving again. I got off the Oxycontin and kept up the Tylenol for a few more days. Now I take a tylenol before bed, just to make sure I can sleep ok. I finished my Mirilax prescription and seem to be going normally. I finally feel normal in regards to bowel movements.
As of this writing, 2 weeks from surgery, I am ready to return to work. I have been working this week from home full time, and I do get sore at the end of the day, but I think next week I can go back into the office. I'm ready. I'm stir crazy and miss downtown. I want a good lunch!
My next appointment is with the Oncologist, next Tuesday. Then the following week, I get to see the surgeon. All signs point to me being cleared, no Chemo needed, but I need the final say of course. I do know that a year from now, I need to do anotehr colonoscopy.
The overwhelming support and love I received from my family, friends coworkers and clients was truly remarkable. My boss has been so supportive. He has reached out to me several times to check to see if I need anything. He offered to spend time with me during recovery. My company sent me a beautiful Orchid and a nice card, signed by the staff. My clients send me a Gardenia! I also got personal cards from them. I truly feel blessed to have such great people in my life. I hope to never forget this and to be better at supporting my friends, coworkers, and clients in their time of need.
I heard so many personal stories from people who have had cancer affect their lives. Most are good stories but a few are not. Once person has a family member who has had colon cancer three times, all about 10 years apart. I know I am at risk of re occurrence at any point.
I had a few days where I was a bit depressed. Why me? Why do I live when so many others die? Is it fair? I know, its weird, but I felt that way. I feel sorrow for those who lost loved ones and I hope that me surviving does not make others feel cheated. I want to help people with cancer now. I am looking at volunteer opportunities to help those who are not as fortunate as I was. I want to make sure this is a life changing event for me, not just a temporary blip.
If anything changes, I will update this, or do another post. But for now I feel like I am on the road to recovery and can't wait till I can lift things again. I am now only allowed to lift under 10 lbs. There is so much to do around here!
